& so
one of my mash-ups was featured in an etsy treasury called
(drum roll)
old school
:) x 100

it started happening again...
that feeling i get right after things are new
the feeling i get when the exciting part has run it's course
the feeling that since i don't really know what to do next maybe i won't try to figure it out
the feeling that i need help & don't know who to ask
& i almost convinced myself, this week
that the dream i have
the dream that i've had for some years now
the dream that when i tell people about it they say
'i would totally go there!'
that maybe it's not for me
maybe it's too hard...

don't get me wrong
i'm not afraid of work
even hard work
my first job was at mcdonald's where my manager was the first person to ever say
'sucks to be you' to me.
thanks, dude, just keep dazzling me with that charm.
i have had a lot of jobs in my life
& someday i will list them, just for fun
& then i will post all of my journals from middle school
just to complete the torture...

anyway
working is not the problem...
the problem is
i'm afraid of succeeding
(& that is such a weird thing to say
& i know i'm not the only one to ever say it in
the history of the world,
but still)
& i don't know why that is
& this is not a therapy session
so i'm not going to dive in now
because the point is
that i have decided that even though i'm afraid
i'm still going to press on.
i'm going to swim in numbers & figure out the projected income & outgo
& how much i would have to pay people
& how often i will have to pay taxes
& oh my goodness did you just fall asleep too?

but i'm going to press on
because after that is another exciting part
& then probably something scary & boring
& then excitement
& then awful & weird
& then awesome
& then what???!!!
& then YES!
& i'm thinking that i won't mind that at all
(& it could make for some pretty exciting blog posts
especially during the what???!!! stage)

i get this email everyday from the brave girls club...
bear with me, here, it's a little bit woo-woo
& super touchie feelie
(hey, i live in eugene, oregon, 'woo-woo super touchie feelie' is pretty much our motto
that & 'if you don't like rain, you should probably not unpack')
today's email was just for me
here it is
(ps you should check out their site, it's so pretty & fun
& you can sign up for the emails
if you're that kind of person
or a eugene resident)

keep going
keep going
keep going
i love that

it reminds me of my favorite disney movie
'meet the robinsons'
if you haven't seen this go to blockbuster video right now
& rent it!
oops, i mean order it from netflix...
hmmmm
anyway
the theme that runs through that movie is
'keep moving forward'
& at the end there is this quote by walt disney
that my kids always ask me to read
& then they just end up saying 'nevermind'
because i can't get through it with out choking up...
usually i am crying way before the quote even appears...
please refer to aforementioned 'touchie feelie'

so i'm going to start working on the numbers
& i'm going to keep praying that someone will come along
who is both good with numbers & able to see my vision
& who knows that this is just what they've been looking for to do
& who can stand to be with me for a few days a month
(or however long you are supposed to discuss numbers per month)
& who will be patient with my lack of number knowledge
(actually, i like numbers, it's when you start multiplying & fractioning that i get lost)
& who will know in their heart that this is where they are supposed to be...
i can't take any less with this area of the business
& i shouldn't
because if your business doesn't have money
then you've got no business trying to make money...
hey!
that almost sounded profound!

& so i press on...
yes, i do.
because i'm so ready for the YES!
that i'm willing to go through the what??!!!

ps i haven't decided if i'm going to share actual numbers here on the blog
part of me thinks that it would be good
because it's all part of it & why not just lay it out
& no one ever really does that with a starting out businesses
(believe me i've looked around)
& another part thinks that would be stupid
i'm not really sure why but there's got to be a reason other people don't do it, right?
& i know...
i just KNOW that when that money/numbers/superhero person who
is supposed to work with me realizes it, they will know the answer.
i'm pretty sure they will...

so stay tuned, friends
things are about to get
very YES!
around here...
:)

a few weeks ago my friend, susan, emailed me
& asked if i would be interested in going to
the movie premiere of 'blue like jazz' in portland...
she couldn't go & thought i might be interested
(it should be noted that susan & i have only met in person once
but we are facebook friends & i can only guess that at some point
when she was trying to think of someone who might like to go
the 400 oscar posts that i do annually through january & february might have
popped into her mind...
that or i'm the only person that she knows who lives near portland...
gotta be one of those)
after i stopped squealing like an 11 year old at a 1D concert
i took off my neon rubber panda headband (or whatever kids are wearing these days)
& said 'yes, please!' & 'thank you' & 'yahooooooooooo!'

brian couldn't go because he is coaching miss m's soccer team
(& he is a committed coach, i am a less committed but supportive coaches wife)
& my dad really liked the book (& i like hanging out with him)
so we headed up I-5 on tuesday afternoon...
we decided to park near the theater & have dinner
i also wanted to see the red carpet before it was filled with hollywood royalty
(yes, a red carpet!
another squeal when i saw that on the invite)
as we walked up to the entrance i strained to see
the big luxurious carpet that is always so lush & wide
so as to accommodate the stars of stage & screen...

hahaha!
i loved it!
it's about the size of the one that i pieced together for my oscar party...
it's totally portland & i LOVED it!

after dinner at bread & ink
& a stroll down the street, peaking in cute shops
we headed to the premiere

the invitation said to get there early because space was limited...
i should mention that the premiere was at the bagdad theater,
an awesome old theater in the cool hawthorne area
it's also a mcmenamin's theater which means it's just plain awesome
& it's where brian & i went the day after our wedding before we headed off on our honeymoon
so lots of great things about the location...
anyway
just in case everyone attending forgot that we were in portland
it started to rain
& rain
& rain
& of course, we all just stood there, happy as can be

in the movie there's a line about how portlanders don't use umbrellas
so it was funny that we had all been out in the rain just a little bit earlier
(note: most people in line didn't have umbrellas
but a photo of soggy, shivering portland-dwellers wouldn't be as cute)

after limos dropped off the actors & director
the line started moving...
as we walked down the sidewalk the director, steve taylor
came out & shook hands with everyone & gave out  licorice!

(confidential to eugenies who attended faith center during the 80's & 90's:
does the guy eating the licorice look familiar to you?
yep, it's chris browning!)

no surprise that as we hit the red carpet
there was a shot that i HAD to get

my phone was a little foggy
so i'm just pretending it's an instagram filter
i'm calling it 'portland fuzz'

as we walked in, there was a real live photographer taking pictures
with a real live hollywood-ish background...
i loved that too!
so fun!

(that one's called 'pixelated photographer')

we got a little bag o' stuff as we walked into the theater
it was really just ads for good stuff & postcards
but for fun purposes we will call it a swag bag...
there was a poster & pin in it, so it was definitely swag-like :)

before the movie started
all of the actors & director & donald miller, the author of the book
sat on stage & introduced it...
loved that!

after the movie they did a Q&A time with them all, too...
it was awesome!

this filter is 'face blobs from afar'

click here to see a list of the cast
the main guy is on 'true blood'
& the girl who plays his friend was on 'lost'
so that was cool!
also their was one actor who was so familiar to me
& i couldn't figure out where i had seen him
but i finally realized that he was on a great halloween episode of 'will & grace'
(love that show)

the movie was good!
it was funny & sweet & thought provoking
always great in a movie!
& it has one of the best endings i've ever seen
really!
i loved how it ended...
it opens on friday so check it out if you're looking for something great to watch...

as we walked out there was a man on the corner playing a saxaphone
& so we strolled back to the car with jazz tunes swirling around us...

it was a lovely ending to a really fun night
& then we drove 2 hours home :)

thank you so much, susan!
it was so sweet of you to think of me
& i LOVED every bit of the experience!

if you haven't read them already i would highly recommend
'blue like jazz'
& 'a million miles in a thousand years'
which has some parts about writing the script for 'blue like jazz'
which was cool, the whole book is really great...

“When you stop expecting people to be perfect, you can like them for who they are.”
― Donald Miller, A Million Miles in a Thousand Years: What I Learned While Editing My Life

so great...
just like the whole night!
thanks, dad!
thanks, susan!
thanks, donald miller!
:)

so when i started thinking about having a business
i didn't even worry about a name
because i just thought that it would come to me eventually
just like everything else that i'm supposed to do does
(in the shower, always, of course)
& since i thought up this business idea around 4 years ago
i have taken at least 14 showers & guess what?
no name!
so i sat & thought hard about it quite a few times
& still.
nothing.
every once in a while something would come to me
& i would write it down.
& so a little list started
but nothing amazing.
& still i thought that the perfect name would arrive
on a silver tray
or at least a cute plastic plate
& guess what? (again)
never did.
never did come.
my smart friend tracy (who is also the graphic design girl)
recommended that i send out my list to some friends
& ask for opinions & ideas
& so i did...

before i give you the list
i will give a little description of the business
to paint a better picture :)
my idea is a community center type place
with a restaurant, indoor & outdoor playgrounds, retail shops, classrooms & more :)
i want it to appeal to men & women as well as kiddos...
the decor is vintage schoolhouse (50's-70's)
lockers, lunchboxes, chalkboards, crayons...
(more on all of that in another post :)

& so
here is the grand list, with my original ideas
& the ones that friends added...
the list on the left is what i sent out,
the other two are additions from friends

aren't those fun?
i loved hearing what people thought & their ideas, too!
after i listed all the names i ran them by just a few people, including brian
& then i came up with a short list...

recess
the hive
old school
elementary
homeroom
hopscotch

at this point i didn't really know what to do
thank goodness for tracy!
she gave me some great tips...
she said that i needed to think about what other people would like
but to keep in mind that
i was going to have to see the name everyday
& i was going to have to say the name a trillion times
& i was going to have to write or type the name over & over & over
so it needed to be something that i really liked & connected to & felt was right...

my friend, aaron, who i play 'words with friends' & 'draw something' with
is a creative director at an ad agency
(i do not feel old enough to have a friend who has that title
but of course, i'm almost old enough to have a kid who has that title
or at least a younger cousin,
so who am i kidding?)
gave me some good tips, too:
The name will get meaning as the place lives.
It doesn't have to say it all right off the bat.
McDonalds didn't mean anything to anyone when it first started,
so don't think it has to do heavy lifting.

that's some high quality advice, don't you think?

so there was one name that i liked from the start
but it has some baggage that comes with it
in the form of a movie starring one will farrell...
but i decided that with a little graphic magic
images of will farrell's butt will not be conjured up every time the name is mentioned...

& so if you are not familiar with the film
(because you only watch wholesome movies, & good on you, if that's the case)
the name i decided on for my business is:
old school
all lower case (no fainting from surprise, please)
it goes so well with the decor & the dream location
& i love how it sounds
'hey, let's meet at old school!'
also kids can pronounce it & they know what both words mean
& hopefully it's easy enough to remember so when their parents say
'what should we do today?'
they can yell
'let's go to old school!'
& then start chanting it
'old school!
old school!
old school!'
& then they will be sent to their rooms
but at least the name is stuck in their parent's head...

yep.
that's what i'm hoping.
also
after i decided for sure on the name
i saw the phrase 'old school' everywhere...
of course i did.
maybe it's just because it's a popular phrase
or maybe i wasn't noticing it before
but i like it when that happens
& so i just took it as a wink & a smile sort of thing ;)
& i do enjoy the wink...
hmmm maybe that should have been the name!
wink!
no!
stop.
just stop.
:)

so what's in a name?
a whole heck of a lot, it seems
(or at least a lot to figure one out)
& i'm so happy to have decided.
hooray!

coming soon,
tracy is going to work on logos
& i will share them here as soon as they are finalized
& if there is more than one choice
maybe i'll post them here & let you vote on your favorite...
that would be pretty fun, i think!

thanks for stopping by today!
i'm so happy to get to say to you:
hello, my name is old school
:)